this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.

How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Thank you for the kindness you’ve shared with me. I guess deep down I knew that this wasn’t the love it should have been, and I don’t want him to be stuck in a relationship he wasn’t getting any happiness out of. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him, but he absolutely has a right to his own happiness and love.

My mind knows this. My body hasn’t got the memo. I can’t stop crying.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Look I had a similar experience and everytime I end a relationship I take the person out of my life. I know you want to look his social media, to send emails and messages, and you will if you don't cut it out. Delete and block is my first and only recomendation. There is nothing anyone can do for you now but it will last a lot less if you block and delete, from everywhere. At the beggining when our mutual friends would try to talk about him I would cut them off "That's the past, lets change the subject".

I know you want to know about him and talk, but don't. If you do that next week will be a lot easier.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (3 children)

That’s the thing. He doesn’t want me to completely go because he values our friendship and the things we have built together. He said it’s okay whatever I decide, but that’s a horrible decision to have to make. I know blocking him and walking away will hurt him as a friend as well. Thankfully I’m not really active on social media and I am not the type to snoop or anything. I know no contact is probably the better route, but now I feel like I’m also letting myself and my work down

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Hey, I am im the same position, 2 months ago my gf of 7 years broke up and said she would like to stay friends because she still likes me as a person. DON'T DO IT! As much as you may want to keep your ex in your life, and as much you still love your ex and don't want to hurt them, you have to put yourself first now. You are the one who was hurt the most here and you have to take care of your healing. First step for that is to tell your ex exactly that, and that you will block them from now on. If it helps, then think that this may only be temporary, maybe in some months or a year or whenever you can open contact again. But for the Tims being the most important thing is that you don't hear from them because that only reopens your wounds. A stupid way to trick your brain stick to no contact: Mark each day without contact in your calendar, and set goals like " 1 week without contact", "1 month without conctact" etc where you will get yourself a treat once you managed to achieve them. When you are at a low point where you are really sad and lonely and want to contact your ex (this will happen, trust me), the thought of "ruining your streak" will make you think twice if you really want to do it. Its really stupid but it works for me. As I said, my gf broke up 2 months ago but I only started blocking her about 5 weeks ago, and with this trick I managed to not relapse once. Hang in there :)

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