this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
33 points (75.4% liked)
Asklemmy
43340 readers
2067 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Are you biologically female and cis? You guys have attraction for 2 types of guys, the long term, dependable type, and the physically attractive "stud" kind of guy. Obviously best combined in one person, I'm just talking about types of attraction.
But of course it's hard to be such a "perfect specimen" and combine both types in one. Most men lean/optimize more the one direction than the other.
Now it's quite obvious which type society conditions you to want - the long term kind of guy. You're also getting a lot of "slut shaming" or puritan sex shaming type of conditioning from society which pushes you away from the physically attractive, dominant, "stud" type of guy.
But both attractions are still very real, you're just being pushed in one direction and away from the other.
So for me it seems like you are in conflict with your natural attraction you have and the way society conditions you to behave. This conditioning is very strong, so that you consider giving in to your sexual desires impossible. As such, you feel a real sense of loss - you lose the opportunity to follow your desires, you "lose" this person you desire - and a feeling of loss makes you sad, so you cry.
Did you just... Say all cis women are attracted to 2 types men? A 'stud' and a 'dependable' type? Because they are also the only types and never shall the two combine?
Like, all of us women? All of us?
Which cartoon told you this? And who told you to repeat this strange teen movie trope with such a sense of confidence?
Wtaf
That's not what it said at all but good for you people. Your thought says more about the way you are: don't read, don't understand but just speak in the way that gets you approval.
That's NOT the meaning of the message, and before reading this comment I read it and totally got what it meant.
Simply put, one person wasn't that worried about the upvotes but making the message easier = communicating with me, not thinking about how someone could take the initial draft of a thought just to find faults in it and twist it around.
And the other is here just for upvotes, didn't even bother to answer my question ??
We could find faults in anyone's answers here, but obviously you go for what would trigger most people and then you feel happy and satisfied. Even if you had understood the message and was doing it for the right purpose, that's not the way to go about it. And the dynamic is pretty clear, just look at people's reactions... Sad. When something gets hype on the internet there's something wrong with it, just a reminder. Hope this clarifies things a bit.
If people wanted to readn and understand the whole message it is pretty clear, and clearly it was just an initial draft and clearly it could go different ways since he was just outlining his thought, "simple attraction to this, but society (...)" vs "commitment, normality, etc.". And this outline can then be applied to the different things one could be judged for and the different things that different societies find normal.
Don't assume others are as "stupid" as you are. Maybe sometimes it's you who's not comprehending. Also he's talking about judgment and how that is wrong, wtf with you saying he's saying just that? HE WAS TALKING AGAINST THAT.
SINCE LATER IN HIS POST HE TALKED ABOUT SLUT SHAMING IT'S PRETTY CLEAR HIS MESSAGE WAS NOT TO BE READ THE WAY YOU WANTED TO, CAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT, THAT'S NOT THE WAY HE IS. So really shame on you for this, this to me is criminal.
This was just sad, annoying and useless in the way it was discussed with the misunderstood party AND useless to the entire post.
Stfu
I love you, you understand me. I completely agree with everything you wrote. Of course there aren't only 2 types in total. I just thought what you wrote sounded like these 2 types.
And the answer to mine and the downvotes are exactly what I'm talking about, they are the social conditioning speaking. My views have to be dismissed without looking at what I'm actually saying, because it goes against this conditioning. No one is actually talking about your problem/issue/question anymore.
Luckily I don't care about downvotes/disagreement. If someone is clearly not even reading past the first sentence I don't need to spend my energy engaging with them more, trying to work against their offendedness.
Even the way you express yourself and use emphasis... Really I'm happy for you, you surely have no problem in navigating our kind of world.
This is so ridiculous, I'm glad I didn't see this when answering him cause now I get it even better, how ridiculous it is.
Did you just read someoneβs comment with the least possible generosity you could? Why?
Did you really just not even finish the first paragraph after reading the first sentence?... The second sentence is literally "Obviously best combined in one person"
But just those 2 right? Because that's... How our brains are wired or something? Based on... Something you saw in a movie from 1997 or something?