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What did you do to survive the night of/after a breakup? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.

How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

As someone who went through pretty much the same thing (she broke up with me and was confused why I was sad about it and wanted us to stay friends at first), he is not your friend. Assuming this breakup was not consensual, this is not something a friend does to someone, and you should not take any heed to his "feelings as a friend". It sounds harsh, but with breaking up with you he not only ended the relationship but also the friendship.

In my own experience, I was only able to move on from my last long term relationship after I accepted that we were not friends, she did not value and respect me and any progress I could make as a person are when cutting her out of my life completely. It took me a few months to get there, and I am better than ever a few more months after that. Before that point, I was constantly in pain and barely functioning, but after the decision to view my ex-partner as culpable for what transpired, I was able to heal and move on.