this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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Thank you for the kindness you’ve shared with me. I guess deep down I knew that this wasn’t the love it should have been, and I don’t want him to be stuck in a relationship he wasn’t getting any happiness out of. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him, but he absolutely has a right to his own happiness and love.
My mind knows this. My body hasn’t got the memo. I can’t stop crying.
Look I had a similar experience and everytime I end a relationship I take the person out of my life. I know you want to look his social media, to send emails and messages, and you will if you don't cut it out. Delete and block is my first and only recomendation. There is nothing anyone can do for you now but it will last a lot less if you block and delete, from everywhere. At the beggining when our mutual friends would try to talk about him I would cut them off "That's the past, lets change the subject".
I know you want to know about him and talk, but don't. If you do that next week will be a lot easier.
That’s the thing. He doesn’t want me to completely go because he values our friendship and the things we have built together. He said it’s okay whatever I decide, but that’s a horrible decision to have to make. I know blocking him and walking away will hurt him as a friend as well. Thankfully I’m not really active on social media and I am not the type to snoop or anything. I know no contact is probably the better route, but now I feel like I’m also letting myself and my work down
As someone who went through pretty much the same thing (she broke up with me and was confused why I was sad about it and wanted us to stay friends at first), he is not your friend. Assuming this breakup was not consensual, this is not something a friend does to someone, and you should not take any heed to his "feelings as a friend". It sounds harsh, but with breaking up with you he not only ended the relationship but also the friendship.
In my own experience, I was only able to move on from my last long term relationship after I accepted that we were not friends, she did not value and respect me and any progress I could make as a person are when cutting her out of my life completely. It took me a few months to get there, and I am better than ever a few more months after that. Before that point, I was constantly in pain and barely functioning, but after the decision to view my ex-partner as culpable for what transpired, I was able to heal and move on.