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Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel too!
Did you suffer some emotional trauma or something similar recently? It’s been 5 years for me, I don’t have much hope of it getting better anymore honestly, at least not if I don’t get better
Nah much more mundane. It seems to have coincided with me taking on a job where I'm dealing with lots of little problems popping up like wildfire that I have to rapidly respond to only for my efforts to be undone by a new disaster.
I've actually been doing pretty well at it, but it seems to have put me in a kind of "yeh yeh yeh whatever let's just hurry up" state of mind that is somehow leaching in to my leisure habits. It's like I'm trying to wrestle satisfaction out of the things I enjoy rather than just enjoying and appreciating doing the things themselves. Like, "I need to get X amount of pleasure units out of this thing before I have to go back to work and I just want to get it now in case something comes up, so can't we just skip to the part where I've already felt satisfied by hearing the song without having to actually sit around listening to it?"
Right I see. Do you intend to keep that job a long time? If it seems to change you that much, it doesn’t seem like such a great idea :(
It was supposed to be a short engagement that dragged on for some 2 to 3 times the expected duration. The last day, (one of several supposed last days should be this coming Monday).
I'm not too concerned about the impacts on my well being. If I was doing this for what I expected to be years I'd basically be demanding a lot of changes and I'd be personally taking on a lot of less of the burden of getting the ailing project over the line but given the expected short duration I've just been trying very hard to help get things underway and moving and also for the more selfish reason of kind of wanting a rest now.