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I'm in the "her life her business" camp, but I can at least see how that could be a problem given teachers like Mary Kay (I can't spell her last name, the blonde that seduced the 6th grader) but I'm also in the camp of: "parents it's your responsibility to police your kids" if the parents are concerned about their kids seeing nudity
Mary Kay Letourneau. Dead now, but it was almost as big as the OJ trial back in the 90s. Jesus, that was some head-twisting shit. Still is to me because of all the back-and-forthing between it was consensual/it was not/it was/it was not over the years since then, though I am inclined to go with whatever the young man says he thinks of it, especially now that he's grown and can see it with adult eyes.
But yeah. Underage, it's up to the parents to be involved. These days, porn is everywhere, and they're gonna look. They probably see it long before any parent suspects they do, because it's a lowest common denominator situation: kids will see porn at school at the age when another kid brings it in and shows it to all their friends, or maybe they will see it at home and be that kid. This teacher being on OnlyFans does not somehow make porn more prevalent, because porn is already everywhere.
So to me, the only hypocrisy involved is with the school board. If they want to have a say in employee moonlighting, they need to pay the wages to support that. Why should this teacher give more of a shit about the tender young souls in her classrooms than the school board and city do? If they cared, they would hire enough teachers, pay them living wages, reinstate extracurriculars and enrichment programs like art and music and classes in adulting (simple finance, home ec, civics, etc), police their administrators, and generally be more concerned with giving kids the best education possible than anything else.
Unfortunately, actual education is often last on their list these days. So shake it if you got it, teachers. No harm, no foul.
At 12, you are still developing and cannot give consent to an adult for something like that. The fact that he said it was fine as an adult is irrelevant and is why the term grooming exists. (By the way, he said during their separation that he realized it was never a healthy relationship.)
Yeah, I think that's where he left it, and since he was the one living it on the wrong side of the original power imbalance, I'll absolutely take his word for it.
I could not agree with you more.
Eh, for myself I absolutely agree, but when you are an older adult and a young person is entering into a relationship where such a serious power imbalance exists, voicing this to them in any way might be the most counterproductive thing you could do. It's also his relationship, not mine. I didn't live it, he did. So it's his thoughts that matter at every step of the journey.
There is an ILLUSION of choice here: adults see the illusion, but the kids only see the choice. Remember that if you're ever face to face with it.
So much depends on the age of the younger party, the age difference, the gender (to some extent, this particular mess was clearly WRONG from the outset) and what the younger party is saying about how they feel. If I am an outsider to it, the last thing I want to do is make any of that worse by giving the younger person something to rebel against. So I don't. But never mistake my acceptance for approval.
And then there's the "treat the cause, not the symptom." The cause was her low pay. She couldn't make ends meet and needed to rely on an OnlyFans account to supplement her income. Maybe pay teachers a livable wage and they won't need to get side gigs?
Or we could just fire every teacher who tries to make ends meet in a way that some parent disapproves of and then have no teachers left.