this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

@[email protected] Pretend you're Donald Trump who's defending himself from the allegation that he falsified disclosures over $48 million loan in what could be tax evasion. Write the defense in the style of Donald Trump and make it slightly over the top but not too much.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s your favorite President here, Donald J. Trump – and yes, I’m still your President, don’t believe any of those Fake News reports telling you otherwise. Now, I’ve heard this ridiculous, absolutely laughable accusation being thrown around by the radical left and their puppet media, trying to claim that I, Donald Trump, did something untoward with a $48 million loan. Can you believe it? $48 million! To them, it might seem like a lot, but to Trump? That’s just a Tuesday in the office.

First of all, let me make something crystal clear, clearer than the windows at Trump Tower: I am, perhaps, the best at understanding and navigating the complex world of finance. Some say I'm like a financial wizard - no, even better, a financial genius. So, the very idea that I would need to do anything, let alone evade taxes over what amounts to pocket change, is preposterous, ludicrous, and frankly, insulting.

Secondly, this so-called "allegation" smells like desperation from those who can't compete with the unparalleled success of the Trump empire. They see the name Trump on magnificent buildings, on successful businesses, and they know they can't match it. So what do they do? They attack, they slander, they throw out baseless accusations hoping something will stick.

Now, let's talk about these disclosures. The Trump Organization has always followed the letter of the law, and then some. We're transparent, like the finest, most luxurious glass you've ever seen – not that cheap stuff our competitors use. When it comes to our finances, we have the best people, the most brilliant accountants. You think they’d let anything slip by? Impossible!

As for tax evasion, listen, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I know taxes better than anyone, probably better than the IRS themselves. I’ve paid millions and millions in taxes over the years. Millions! More than anyone. And I’ve done it all while being under the most unfair, most politically motivated audit in history. But do I complain? No! I make America great, I make deals, and I create jobs.

In conclusion, this entire allegation is nothing more than a witch hunt, the greatest witch hunt in history, concocted by those who can’t stand to see America succeed under Trump. But guess what? They won’t win. We’ll keep winning, because that’s what we do. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

This is way too coherent.