this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
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Trying to keep my very picky eater 3yo healthy as we're (hopefully) expanding his diet. Right now the only foods I can get him to actually eat are McDonald's, a specific brand of yogurt, banana bread, some crackers and some bars. Refuses any beverage besides water. (He's likely on the spectrum.)

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I mean, there are literally multivitamin gummies at any decent grocery store. If you want a processed food snack that’s got vitamins that’s where I’d start.

My advice, being on the spectrum myself, would be to be open about the fact that they’re multivitamin gummies, ie don’t try to lie and present them as “desert”. But tell him you’d like to treat them as desert even though they aren’t so he can help get some vitamins.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Freeze dried fruit. It makes fruit taste and crunch more like candy. My nephew goes crazy for freeze dried fruit. Blueberries, figs, mango, there's so many to try

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Dried mango was big for us. We also supplement with Flintstones. There are also vitamin drops you can sneak into their food.

Also, eat something and casually tell him he can't have any. My kid (AuDHD with PDA) wants anything they can't have, especially when it's mine.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Jesus christ. My most powerful negative memories of being an autistic child were when communication between me and adults would devolve into manipulative tricks designed to help me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

I don't know your experience, but parents have the moral obligation to keep their kids safe and healthy. That sometimes requires that you get your kids to do things they don't want to do. You can either do this with manipulation or with force. There's no third option because kids don't have the proper coping mechanisms to suppress their emotions and do what they're required to do, even when they don't want to.

That isn't to say your parents did the right thing or that they were trying to keep you safe. I don't know you. Maybe they were abusive. My point is only that manipulation is often the better of two bad options.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

While I'm autistic and have my own issues with food, we're all different and have our own lists of "safe" and "unsafe" foods, so I don't have any specific advice other than please, please don't listen to the people who want you to abuse your child by either forcing, or withholding food.

Post this in an autistic group if you want to hear how well that actually works (that's actually the best advice I can give in general - follow autistic people and spaces, listen to autistic adults who have been there and know what your child is going through, and, often with the opposite intent, the damage their parent or guardian or doctor or "therapist" did to their mental and general health and wellbeing because they were treated as "poorly behaved" neurotypicals, instead of the neurodiverse individuals that they (we) are).

E: even if it turns out they aren't autistic, forcing and/or withholding food is still just as shitty a thing to do.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I know you've thought of this, but encouraging you to try again. Ive found that kids will refuse something to eat and then come back to it later when they are actually hungry.
It may take a tantrum and crazy cry session, but with love and attention they can normalize and get back towards a more normal diet.
I get that kids have certain things they don't like, but for anyone whose kids only eat things that are deep fry brown, I think it's worth the short-term crisis to solve the long-term aggravation and health issues. Edit: ok yeah I missed the potential autism part of question. Encourage other parents to stay strong with eating habits if that is not the case

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He's 3 years old. He'll eat when he gets hungry enough. He has no income, he can't supplement his diet with McDs, just deny buying it. Sure you'll have some tantrums, but better that now than trying to deal with it later.

Parenting is not easy, it's hard work, and with that comes hard decisions, including putting up with temper tantrums for the greater good.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He’ll eat when he gets hungry enough

Says every person who has no experience with or knowledge of autistic people yet thinks they know better...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, I must have missed where OP mentioned her son was autistic

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What did you think this bit meant?

(He’s likely on the spectrum.)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

A home, WebMD diagnosis is not clinical evidence

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Diagnosing your child has autism from WebMD, and not going to get a professional evaluation is the same as calling yourself a car because you stood in a garage

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Advising a parent to torture a child over food is piss poor advice to start with but when the parent has identified possible autism, you realise you know less than nothing and shut the fuck up.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago

That is the most smooth brain opinion ever. Telling your child they will be having something other than McDonald's for dinner is not torture, it's good parenting.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Flinstone vitamins, maybe? Or any other kids gummy vitamins.

I would highly recommend talking with a child therapist before this becomes an ingrained habit, if you haven’t already.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's also worth getting them checked out by a gastroenterologist. Sometimes picky eating is a subconscious thing to avoid having the shits all the time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I'm not trying to downplay the reality of serious health concerns sometimes being behind food habits, but I think I need to say...

Picky eating is an absolutely normal part of child development. Anecdotally, both of my kids went through two distinct phases of picky eating, at around 3-5 and 8-11.

They gradually grow out of it. All you can do is try to make sure what they are eating is nutritious enough while they are going through it.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 months ago

Don't snack