this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2023
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You Should Know

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Why YSK: These email tips are helpful for people who struggle with boundaries and want to communicate more assertively.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it's actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying "thanks for your patience" is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.

There's nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means "being a boss" then that explains why there's so many sociopaths as CEOs.

"Hope that make sense?" Vs "Let me know if you have any questions."

The latter is saying "here's the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can't". The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It's both a kindness and doing your due diligence.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Seriously.. and oftentimes just combining both works better. "Hey sorry I'm late, I appreciate you all being patient" or "Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m so happy to see a sane comment at the top here. So many of these are just stupid and border on alpha male don’t take not shit or admit fault crap.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it goes the other way too. For people that tend to apologize too much, even when it’s not their fault, mixing in a “thanks for your patience” is a good way to balance it out a bit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I'm torn. I feel like admitting guilt and owning up to your failures is a virtue, but I'm not sure the rest of the world agrees with me

Neurotypical enough to read body language, neurodivergent enough to never understand why

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

"Thank you for your patience" gives me such a visceral reaction, lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My personal ones for corporate use:

  • Never use I when you can use we.

  • Even if you're the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.

  • Don't apologize, present solutions.

  • Don't say "read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron", say "As previously noted in our communications...."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Our company "russian anthem starts playing"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Imma take a second to plug goblin tools. I'm autistic and it has saved my ass.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Half of it is fragile CEO ego reply

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be honest, I find most of these passive aggressive and patronizing.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I agree, but, you'd be surprised how many people find many of these seemingly innocuous distinctions offensive (if only a little bit). For example, I was once chided by HR for saying 'no problem' during a seemingly friendly discussion.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Seems like a toxic work environnement to get chided for so little..

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

If someone has a problem with "no problem," they have a problem.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

~~Hi Shelley! How are you? I really hope you're doing well.~~ Shelley, we didn't go to school together and you're not my kris kringle, I'm at work and I need x. Ping me if you need anything. Also donuts in the kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

While most of these are a good rule of thumb, I disagree with 'Always Happy to Help.' > 'No Problem.'

'I'm Always Happy to Help' is a fine response, if you're actually willing to make your time available for the recipient at the drop of a hat. Sometimes that's called for, but I would only reserve it for a few very specific circumstances. I also don't see an issue with saying 'no problem' most of the time. There are situations where something a little more formal is called for, but 90% of the time 'no problem' should work imho.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

"When can I expect an update" makes you sound like a micro managing POS

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