this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2023
0 points (NaN% liked)

Chat

7483 readers
21 users here now

Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.


Subcommunities on Beehaw:


This community's icon was made by Aaron Schneider, under the CC-BY-NC-SA 4.0 license.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I mean I just saw someone on lemmy talking about their love life and I'm thinking: "So what". I never really had any desire to get in a romantic/sexual relationship. I personally think having a close friend you can trust is more important than having someone you can have sex with. Am I asexual/aromantic? Does anyone else feel this way?

all 5 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Whether or not you're ace is only something you can determine. I can only tell you that my own sexuality is..weird.

I personally have issues connecting emotionally with other people. I can feel just fine, but there seems to be an invisible wall between what I feel and how I process my emotions and other human beings. I can show compassion and sympathy and empathy, but it's purely performative: I don't feel these things for others.

No amount of therapy has ever been able to fix this. That part of my brain just...doesn't work that way.

But I still experience attraction. I still want someone to share my life with, romantically. I still like sex, a lot.

Romance, for me, is just finding out what behaviors my partner recognizes as me caring for them and then modeling those behaviors. It can sometimes be a strange cognitive dissonance to have someone who says how loved I make them feel and yet my attachment to them, such as it is, is pure intellectual and sexual, no emotional component at all.

Anyway, sorry for the word vomit, I guess all that was just to say that there's nothing wrong with not fitting any of the existing labels 100%. Labels are just descriptors, and their only value is in communicating a shared experience to others. If they fit, they fit. If they don't, no worries. You're you, and that's okay.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Everyone has their own definition of love. For me it's about what you say: A close friend that you trust. And that's exactly who my boyfriend is. He's my best friend, I help him out, he helps me out and we both trust each other. Occasionally we have sex, but that's not a huge fixture of our relationship, it's fun for 15 minutes every week, but that's around 0.5% of our total time together. Hanging out and playing games and doing chores is the other 99.5% of our lives together.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nobody on lemmy has felt human touch for years.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Here’s one of those Reddit-isms.