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SQL

What exactly is the "nontechnical nonsense" he’s complaining about?

This is older than many reading here … and C was already old when this was written.

Bist du sicher, dass du deutsch sprichst?

In fact you can’t be fired at all (in the sense of "leave immediately and we won’t pay you anymore“) unless you really fuck up (like, assault your superior or something along those lines).

That’s sick (pun intended). Over here it’s the other way around: When we get sick during a vacation, we get the vacation days back.

As a German I find the concept of "allotted sick days" disturbing.

Replace? MacBook? Er, I‘m afraid I’ve got to tell you something …

Quite right. The joke works even without the „woman good/man bad“ subtext.

Yeah nice but why are you people so obsessed with men explaining things to women or vice-versa?

Rich is relative. If everyone is rich, nobody is.

Let the code explain the „how“, use comments to explain the „why“.