beefbaby182

I'm definitely younger than you because emacs sucks

A private island

And only a trusted few would be allowed on it.

But only if the flux capacitor gets up to 1.21 gigawatts

A car on fire on an entrance ramp. Thought it was a wildfire at first until I got closer and was weirdly relieved when I saw what it was.

I know! It's that deadpan delivery that really sells the style.

Did you ever watch Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs? Steven Wright does the voice over narration for K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 70's!

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

-Mitch Hedberg

What do you call ten thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

A good start.

Okay, now that's good.

I see. Said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.

Oh, man, I love The Aristocrats joke. Used to have a DVD of that one with a lot of comedians telling their own versions of The Aristocrats joke.

If the "payoff" is a heart attack at the ripe old age of 46...

I remember when something similar happened years ago when a mod of /r/AdviceAnimals got busted for promoting links to the meme site quickmeme.

Both that subreddit and that website were never the same again.