this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] 91 points 7 months ago (4 children)

If I woke up as a woman, regardless of who that woman is, I would masturbate.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I would masturbate.

This is how I answer most hypotheticals

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

What if you woke up as your grandpa.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I suppose it depends on how decomposed I am and whether or not I need a heartbeat to get an erection, or if the force reanimating me takes care of that in addition to basic movement, perception and cognition.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I mean, we're talking about imaginary scenarios, so you can also time travel or wake up in a dimension where you're your own grandpa in his 20s.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Don't be daft, you're making a mockery of the entire thought experiment

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Well, considering he has kids, probably fuck your grandma

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Or, depending how depressed they are, not.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

Or, depending how deeply depressed they are, not.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Take some Viagra. Then masturbate.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'd fart in a position so the fart bubbles through my pussy lips and giggle uncontrollably.

Then probably eat Taco Bell and repeat a couple times.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

You know, I did have masterbate. Now I'm not sure. Would it be different if she... well, I.... had an innie?

Also wonder if I can turn my wife bi so double bonus if I ever get back.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yeah if I was her you wouldn't see her outside for a few weeks if I'm honest.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

Taylor Swift randomly disappears for 2 months,, then suddenly releases new single called "Oh So That's What It's Like"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Check if that asshole is bleached