this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2023
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If you feel in your gut that she’s not the one, you have to trust that feeling. Going into a marriage you know is going to leave a part of your soul behind, reasoning that you’ll just give it a chance for a few years, that’s lost time. It never comes back.
You have to trust your gut. If you have a bad gut feeling but don’t want to tell others because of goals your mind is afraid of sacrificing, you need to trust your gut over your mind.
If that’s where you are, just know that there is a better life than you can imagine waiting for you, if you truly decide to feed your true self. Everything you think about losing is nothing compared to the continual warm glow of knowing you’ve got your own back.
Don’t give that up for someone else. Don’t be with someone who makes you betray yourself.
I truly wish I'd known this when I was 21. Got married super young and went through 20 years (4 years of dating, 16 of marriage) of hell. I had so many reservations that I refused to admit to myself, let alone others, because I didn't believe i was worth loving, that I'd never find love again, etc.
My family actually celebrated when I left my ex. They'd apparently seen it the whole time.
Seriously, young people. Trust your gut.
I stayed with a woman for about five years after my gut knew.
One of the things that helped me start realizing I had to get out and make my own life was this line from a psychology course I listened to on youtube, talking about intuition: