this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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Today I Learned

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (5 children)

There's a whole lot of fucked up with everyone involved. I have experiance with a family with a dead famous dude and there's fucked up shit going on there too. Apperently, it's quite common.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It’s common in non celebrity families as well. When someone dies it’s like everyone decides to be as shitty as possible to the ones who were closest to the deceased.

When my mom died her family broke into my house and took everything. My dad was left with nothing to remember her by. It was horrible. These were the same people who refused to talk to her for months prior to her death. Then they had the audacity to blame my father and I for her death. Like motherfuckers if you would have answered her calls at least once you’d know she was in severe physical pain when she died. It had nothing to do with us.

It’s not talked about a lot, but neuropathy kills all the time.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Fuck dude, I'm sorry for your loss and the shitty aftermath you had to deal with when you were grieving. I hope you and your father have found peace and happiness and that you don't have contact with those vultures at all anymore.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

They don’t even have to be dead yet for this shit to happen.

We have a relative in a home in serious cognitive decline. We kept their stuff with his sibling. Friends are asking ‘what about the valuable X/Y he had’, ‘does he have much money in the bank?’ etc. Parasites seem to come out of the woodwork at these times. It’s disgraceful.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, the older I get, I'm kinda glad that nobody in my family has much.

When my mom's mom passed, she left everything to my mom (and like a dollar each to her two sisters), but honestly, it wasn't much at all. A mess of debt and paperwork to sort out and a house in terrible shape. Her sisters were hurt at first but realized they weren't missing out, and they still have a decent relationship, especially after my mom told them that she was willing to talk about sharing/giving them anything they wanted.

Now, years later, my parents (and my sister and I, and with help from pros) totally gutted and renovated the house and my parents just sold it earlier this year. My mom has said repeatedly that she wants to give her sisters as well as my sister and I some of the money from the house, but honestly I don't really care about the money at all. If I get anything I'll probably save it toward a down payment on a house of my own someday, but if I never see a dime, it's no big deal.

On the other side, when my dad's dad passed, he was similarly laid back about things, but his sister got really bold and rude about claiming lots and lots of stuff, and it only got worse when my grandma moved out of her house into assisted living.

Now that house is almost ready to sell as well, and she's already asking about her share (of the house my parents did everything with). She's even hoarded the lions share of housewares, appliances, etc. too, which are sitting in boxes in her storage unit, even as my sister and I both were buying those same things over the past several years as we established our own homes.

Really, the only things I have from the house are two pieces of furniture (which my aunt wanted but wouldn't fit in her storage unit), one small set of glass dishes, some mixing bowls, and my grandpap's old favorite coffee mug. I think of him every time I use it, and that's all that really matters to me.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah it's just people, doesn't matter if they're famous. I used to work in a law office and the family and estate cases were the absolute worst. Some people just turn into vile cretins when someone dies. Give me a good old criminal case any day over that nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Out of curiosity, how enforceable is a "if anyone contests this will legally, their portion becomes 0 and what would have been theirs is divided up among the others who haven't contested it" clause?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'd have to look it up, ianal but I don't think that's a thing where I live. I personally have not seen any weird punishment like that for contesting a will.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Fame is not healthy for humans. It makes them do weird, fucked up shit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Agreed. I think you have to be a certain kind of narcissistic/attention-seeking to be famous at all and I think that humans in general are greedy. Which all translates to, celebrities are likely more fucked up than we think and their family dynamics probably match.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now add former heroin addicts to the equation.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait, who was hooked on smack? Please say it was Yoko.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

John and Yoko. They quit when their son was born.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Wild. I never knew John rode the horse. That they were able to clean up for their kid is fairy admirable. I assume that means they dabbled more than they went full out? Cause I'm fascinated by heroin addiction and what it does to people in a sort of morbid way (listened to a lot of music by heroin addicts over the years).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Check into John's "lost years" Yoko kicked him out and he went on a years long bender with Harry Neilsen among others.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Harry Neilsen

A friend recently made me aware of this artist and his relation to the Beatles. That he was a smack head with Lennon wasn't mentioned. Wild. Thanks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

He wasn't a "smack head" with Lennon, Lennon was on heroin and quit it many years before that.

It was alcohol and coke Neilsson and Lennon did. Lots and lots of it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hi, former heroin addict here. AMA!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wow, yes, please!

If you wanna transfer these to a dedicated AMA thread (if you do, please reply with a link), please feel free.

  • How did you get there? I met someone for whom heroin was the first drug they tried. Hadn't even smoked pot. Did you have a gateway drug or dive right in? If gateway, how did that progress?

  • How long did you use? How did it affect your ability to participate in society? How did it affect your relationships with friends and family?

  • What caused you to turn things around and what was that experience like? How long did it take? How many attempts were necessary?

  • What do you want to say about is that I haven't asked?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Gonna take me a bit but I’ll write up as good of a response as I can. I got clean in 2014 and my life is a zillion times better.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

He wrote Cold Turkey to describe his own experiences.