this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (2 children)

And if he doesn't, thats a "loss" for some reason. Nothing is actually lost mind you, there is no 7.5 trillion pounds of baby meat in a dump somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Nevertheless, we've fired the CEO and given him 6 billion pounds of baby meat for failing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

And he gets another sweet gig with another big company because he's got "experience"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It was a loss because the CEO had already received an MBO in percentage of planned growth

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Reminds me of the Reddit CEO who was sobbing that Reddit is not profitable (and that's why they had to block 3rd party apps) while receiving a $200 million salary.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Obligatory xkcd/605

showcueball shows a graph with two data points for yesterday and today and a linear graph through them, saying "AS YOU CAN SEE, BY LATE NEXT MONTH YOU'LL HAVE OVER FOUR DOZEN HUSBANDS. BETTER GET A BULK RATE ON WEDDING CAKE."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

They also expects if a woman can give birth to a baby in nine months, nine women only need one month to "produce" a baby. Or even just eight or seven women, because of synergy effects.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

My calculations show that around the age of 80 he will be massive enough to turn earth into a black hole if evenly distributed onto its volume

Edit: actually by the age of 30, because I misread the current age to be 12 months

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

And how will this affect the stock price?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Positively, probably, as the stock will get to the moon literally and long before that moment

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

These people think the only kind of growth is exponential.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Because they don't know anything that grows faster than exponential, and anything that grows slower doesn't look as good in the reports

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Slower growth is worse than faster growth. I want 10 million next week not next year.

This kind of capitalism is a disease.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Now, if that isn't some sound empirical reasoning, I don't know what is!