this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
531 points (96.3% liked)

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Me: "There should be a Boy Scouts for adults."

Me, 3 seconds later: "Oh yeah. Military..."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

As a life long boy scout (cub scouts through eagle scout) and as a navy veteran, I feel qualified to tell you the military is definitely not adults boyscouts.

The military is more like that game you hear about high school dudes playing in the locker room, where everyone Jerks off on a cooki, but the last to cum has to eat the cookie. That's basically exactly what the military is like. If you aren't a big enough jerkoff, you get the cookie. Everyone around you is always jerking off. And all you do is think about how much you don't want to be the one eating that cookie.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"Oh no... I guess I have to eat the cookie again." - My gay ass

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Lmao.

🎵IN THE NAVY🎶

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Cut out the cookie...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

that sounds like something a seaman would say

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Hey now I was an airman, not a seaman. We get testee about that lol

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

George first taught the Army the Cookie Doctrine at Valley Forge, but then their dicks started to freeze and break off

[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Armies didn't exist before George Washington

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

ours didn't

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Then there is "hurry up and wait". "Everyone has to cum on the cookie by 5am but stare at it until 2pm."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Icky cookie?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I just want a NOLS type thing for adults instead of just teens.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Question: are potatoes a vegetable. If so, do I get that badge if I eat French fries?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

culinary terms are pretty arbitrary but when a dietician extolls eating vegetables they're not talking about starches like potatoes and corn

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

So you’re saying that potatoes aren’t really a vegetable, so it’s a bit of a starch to count them as such in your diet?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Yes. Approved by me.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Would actually be down to have these on a denim jacket or something

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Be the change you want to see

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

We don't need no stinking badges!

(Just in case: not hate, just a possibly obscure reference)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre or Blazing Saddles?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Yep, Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

This is what video game achievements are for. They give adults the feedback life usually doesn't give.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

If somebody actually wants merit badges, the Rebel Badge Club exists.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

These unlock the trophy hunter in me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I'd like to introduce you to Geocaching

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Well this is depressing AF. I think I need to pay my bills now and do other mind-numbingly boring and mundane tasks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I'd never get that Netflix badge.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I would enjoy shows a lot more if I could stop at just 1 episode.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I will get the bottom left and right badges one day, I swear.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Very good meme! I likey very much.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The "ate a vegetable" is more of a kids badge, though. Adults generally like vegetables more than kids and choose to eat them more often.

I feel like this was made by some 'murican whale that only eats fast food and drinks soda.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm an adult, I'm not American, I don't only eat fast food or only drink soda, but I do hate vegetables.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Same, am whale. Plankton ftw.