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Thank you for sharing. Sounds like you might have dyslexia? I believe there’s a form that just affects numbers. The brain is a weird thing. There’s so much going on in our lives at that age, bullying and trauma seem to form part of our later personality and they’re hard to recover from. Have you come out ok?
It's called dyscalculia when it's for numbers or math. I looked at the symptoms list and it doesn't really resonate. I used to count the coins in my piggy bank, and loved to do it, still do actually, and never had any trouble with it. With bigger calculations as well, I didn't have trouble if I could do it in peace, but as soon as there was any amount of pressure on me, I started to struggle. I also would definitely have benefited from a more individual and calm teaching style, and maybe my parents also shouldn't have been so accepting of my poor performance.
I sometimes actually grasped some concepts with ease and faster than some classmates, I remember having no difficulties with some chemistry calculations, while others did. And I also noticed that I really liked physics, math, chemistry, etc. if I was doing well, but often the teachers just couldn't give me the attention I needed, so I just fell off.
Idk if I've come out ok... I've had a lot of trauma in my life which I think lead to some pretty bad mental health issues, and now that those have been somewhat resolved, or rather they've evened out and/or I've learned to live with them, my physical health has started to fail. I finally managed to get a job after years of struggling only to develop a still undiagnosed chronic illness and having to leave the job and left to wonder wtf to do next. I don't think I really have a future, tbh...