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Is it normal for men to be propositioned by swingers, and what makes a man an attractive candidate to swinger couples? (lemmy.autism.place)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I have been propositioned by swingers quite a bit. It's to the point that if a couple is nice to me, I start getting suspicious. This has happened with acquaintances, long-time friends, people I've met at a party, co-workers, and even strangers at the beach. Three times that I can remember off the top of my head, they propositioned me and my girlfriend at the time (separate girls many years apart). Is this a normal thing? What about me could make me attractive to swinger couples?

I'm a cis-gendered straight male. As far as physical attractiveness, I would say I'm slightly above average based on what women have told me and how they treat me.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

When I was late teens and early twenties, I kept getting propositioned by gay guys. It started to bother me - I've never been in any way homophobic, but I've also never been attracted to men - and I started to worry that there was some vibe I gave off that made people think I was gay.

Then I mentioned it to a gay guy who I knew, and he said that the vibe I give off is of someone who isn't judgemental and who wouldn't react badly to being asked. Maybe there's something similar or analogous to your situation.

Edit: propositioned, not preposition

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This happens to me a lot and the reason I think it does is because I'm good looking enough that the woman could potentially get herself in the mindset that I'm attractive but not so good looking or masculine that I intimidate her existing boyfriend. I'm in that sweet spot of approachable non-judgmental, in decent shape, good attitude, kinky predilections, and I can make people laugh.

I have been approached double digits number of times which led me down the same thought path as you.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have been approached double digits number of times which led me down the same thought path as you.

Yess, right‽ It's odd. I was like, "What is going on??" I think you might be on the ball. I'm attractive enough for the woman, but not too attractive to intimidate the man. Also, thinking about what people have said, I now remember that I asked a gay guy that was into kink about it. He said that my initial presentation is that I look non-judgmental and down for whatever. Basically, I seem like someone that could possibly be interested in it, but would be chill about it if I wasn't.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

We're low risk targets lol