Ask Lemmy

Where in the US? Think of the US as 50 countries In a trenchcoat. Socializing in Arizona is different from Washington or Georgia.

"That's the neat part! You don't!"

That’s the cool part. You don’t! ;)

Try volunteering somewhere, you will likely meet good people that way. Usually you have to be decent to give up your time for the benefit of others. I volunteer at a local clinic and a "soup kitchen", made a lot of friends that way. If you want to be a part of the community you cant go wrong by helping solve the problems of the community. If you're not sure how to get started, check out your local United Way.

Several people have recommended hiking groups, and that's a really good option. Hikers are generally very friendly people, and you can meet a lot of very interesting people on the trails from all over the world. The United States is also gifted to have many vast and diverse wilderness parks that are federally protected, so you can definitely experience some absolutely wonderful landscapes that might be very different than where you grew up. We also have many thousands of miles of trails, including the Appalachian Trail, Pacific Crest Trail, and Continental Divide Trail, each of which is at least 2,100 miles long.

There are also very many other outdoor activities that Americans have long traditions with, so if you want exposed to more of the local cultures, find something to do outside that you've never tried before. Fishing, hunting, hiking, backpacking, kayaking, and camping are just a few of the popular ones.

The comments about volunteering seem really helpful. Go down to your local animal control center and you will meet some decent people.

Also, Halloween tends to create possibilities. Even if you are just handing out flyers for a local project of some sort.

I gather you are not going to bars, which is a really good idea

You've gotten some good answers already but I'd like to stress a point I haven't seen mentioned: It's easiest to make friends during downtime. By which I mean, time you spend with another person doing nothing in particular. Shared activities are not bad, but if they are too engaging (work, sport, even worship) there isn't time to get bored and find entertainment in conversation, wherein you can discover shared interests and build comeraderie.

You'll find a lot of Americans formed their closest friendships while in school (usually high school or college). I argue that's because there is a ton of downtime with your peers in those environments. Try to find similar environments where you are effectively "stuck" with a peer for an hour or more at a time. Hiking clubs are fantastic. Beginner art classes. Book clubs.

Beyond that, don't be discouraged. Some people will have a hard time getting over their own inhibitions about exposing themselves to new people. And many casual friends will fall by the wayside along the way. That is okay. The ones you keep will be worth it in the end.

In some cities, there are other places where you can accomplish some of the socializing that happens in bars, without being in a bar or around alcohol at all. In older towns and cities you can often find breakfast places and cafés that don't mind if you stay a while longer than it takes to eat a meal or drink coffee, and where customers at bar-style seating or outdoor tables often are interested in striking up a conversation with strangers.

It makes so much difference if you gravitate toward old cities and towns, and away from suburbs, especially modern suburbs (and their accompanying shopping and entertainment districts) built in the 80s or later. The latter tend to be completely, totally oriented toward the isolated and car-dependent lifestyle. Older, much longer established communities are more messy and sometimes even dysfunctional, yet they usually have some places where people actually meet and interact.

Learn jiu-jitsu or judo, you get to know everybody.

You mentioned you joined a few clubs. I would say focus on that. As long as you're going out to the same social place every day and doing some activities, you'll be bound to meet friends.