Instantly granted all programming knowledge
"Well what the... God damnit! Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? Fucking JavaScript architects!"
this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2024
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Every npm package gets downloaded into your brain, immediately collapses into a black hole
My gods. I think this just gave me flashbacks to this week.
I was recently battling node's import/require shenanigans trying to figure out how to import a typescript module in my basic program. I feel this so hard.
I walked away utterly hating the language and its ecosystem. Utterly defeated, I gave up.
Why limit yourself like that? Just say "All languages". Depending on how liberally you interpret the word "language", you know know just about everything.
At that point just go for omniscience.
Too far. I don’t need to know all that.
Oh you don't want to know exactly how many pubes your grandmother shed in her lifetime? You don't care to know what the sewage of tasted like in London on Sunday, the 16th of July 1882? You don't burn with desire to learn what it feels like to get your viscera torn out by a hungry lion?
Weak!
A few million. Nasty, with hints of corn and bean. Painful and, oddly, quite exhilarating. Knowing doesn't equate to experiencing.
Man i could just browse weird facts in my brain all day. Hurry Satan my soul is waiting!
Would go for all languages, spoken, written, typed, signed, listened too, seen, felt.
Felt, eh?
I don't understand, isn't it what is required for junior positions these days, every manager would tell you that they also required soft skills. His wish won't even land him a job.
All they had to wish for was to know COBOL. Job guaranteed.
I like the scope creep there:
- Programming language (singular)
- All programming languages and related knowledge
- Add in AI, ML and data structures
Bro needs to go big. Why not all electronics and electronic systems in general? As it is he could still be "caught with his pants down" by another speculative execution bug.
Wish granted, goes on to create yet another "better" programming language.
btw, OP forgot "understanding", which is the harder part.
Good point. Maybe that's why they clarified "all knowledge in data structures and ml and ai" in the end.
Then again, just because you have all puzzle pieces (and a few extra) it does not mean you can solve it.
My head canon is that Tony Stark has a superpower: everything he builds works the first time.
If it's really complicated, like an entirely new Iron Man suit, then it might malfunction once in an amusing way. Then he tightens a screw and it's perfect. It never fails outright or bricks itself.
In my experience, this is not how hardware or software development goes. I want this power so much.
Agreed. It's comical how he's seemingly able to rapidly build stuff that requires experience in multiple high end fields and then he even surrounds himself with his own tech and is not buried under maintenance hell for it all.
My alternative head canon is that he's actually only good at building AIs and Jarvis and Friday are the ones who actually make all of his crazy ideas work.
He is an Artificer, plain and simple
If I was at any moment perfectly aware of every minute detail of every programming related topic, and could also apply it perfectly, I honestly think I'd get incredibly stressed and depressed. Stressed from all the billions of projects that I could improve, and would kinda feel the obligation to improve. And depressed because the whole reason I like programming is the learning part. Almost every project I start will end at the point where I learnt the most significant new stuff and it comes down to doing things that I know how to do. It'd ruin my primary hobby (and job) for me, which probably wouldn't result in me being very happy.
Don't wish for knowledge, wish for wisdom. Of course then you will just realize that you should have just wished to be lucky.
I woulda said Dr Manhattan powers.
A blue penis?
I think you might need to reread watchmen then