Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
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[META] Reminder: This is "Not The Onion" - Read the sidebar (lemmy.world)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.

So just a little refresher. Posts should be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.

If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:

  • "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
  • "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
  • "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
  • "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
  • ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths

See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.

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NVIDIA: Copyrighted Books Are Just Statistical Correlations to Our AI Models * TorrentFreak (torrentfreak.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lazysoci.al/post/16673305

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Trader Joe's recalls 653,000 scented candles due to fire hazard (www.nbcnews.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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He was tired of dating apps. So he bought a billboard. (www.washingtonpost.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Trump Warns That if Kamala Harris Wins, ‘Everybody Gets Health Care’ (www.rollingstone.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

Oh no! Such horrors!

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Trump's bizarre video pits singing Democrats against Rep Luna in a swimsuit (boingboing.net)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

The X repost has since been deleted. I think what he should really do is post himself in a swimsuit swimming across the swimmably drinkable Yangtze river.

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Arizona Supreme Court says fetus can be called 'unborn human' in voter pamphlet | Reuters (www.reuters.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Over 2,300 pounds of meth found hidden in celery at Georgia farmers market (www.nbcnews.com)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

“It was hiding in the celery," said DEA Special Agent in Charge Robert Murphy. "Obviously, we threw away the celery. That didn’t make it to the store.”

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Neighbors in Arvada [CO] put up dueling political signs for their dogs (www.9news.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Disney wants wrongful death of LI doctor lawsuit tossed over Disney+ streaming terms (longisland.news12.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/23849795

The lawsuit claims that Dr. Kanokporn Tangsuan suffered a fatal allergic reaction after eating at a Disney Springs restaurant despite repeatedly informing the waiter of her severe allergy.

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Disney+ terms prevent allergy death lawsuit, Disney says (www.bbc.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

Disney World is arguing a man cannot sue it over the death of his wife because of terms he signed up to in a free trial of Disney+.

It says Mr Piccolo agreed to these terms of use when he signed up to a one month free trial of its streaming service, Disney+, in 2019.

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New Zealand food bank distributes candy made from a potentially lethal amount of methamphetamine (abcnews.go.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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RAND report to Pentagon suggests Memes Pose a Threat to the US Financial System (hackernoon.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Students divided after returning to schools with Confederate names restored (www.bbc.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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British hunting group to take legal action to become protected minority group. Hunters have good chance of obtaining same status as Gypsies and LGBT people, campaigners say (www.telegraph.co.uk)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Utah Supreme Court Rules That Alleged Sexual Assault by a Doctor Is Not “Health Care” (www.propublica.org)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
11 comments fedilink
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MyPillow Man Mike Lindell Ordered to Pay Legal Fees for Guy Who Proved Him Wrong at ‘Prove Mike Wrong’ Event (gizmodo.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
49 comments fedilink
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JD Vance Awkwardly Retreats After Bizarre Attempt to Storm Harris’ Empty Plane (www.thedailybeast.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
33 comments fedilink
 
 

JD Vance briskly marched up to Air Force 2, Kamala Harris’ plane, planning to give political reporters a show as he confronted the vice president uninvited on Wednesday. His power-play dreams, like most of his chaotic veep run, were immediately thwarted once he realized Harris was not present. “I just wanted to check out my future plane,” Vance told campaign reporters gathered on the tarmac in Wisconsin.

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U.S. Athletes Are Taking Full Advantage of Free Healthcare in Olympic Village (www.si.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Watch US Olympian Ari Ramsey’s response about it…

https://x.com/MyDaleyVibes/status/1821562794472333795

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Israeli Leaders Demand Probe of IDF Rape Video—To Find Out Who Leaked It (www.commondreams.org)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Trump posts fan fiction about Biden stealing nomination back from Harris (www.rollingstone.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Man taking trash to dumpster with gun slips, shoots and kills self accidentally, police say (www.ksat.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
6 comments fedilink
 
 

A man taking his trash to an apartment dumpster was shot and killed after he slipped while walking and the gun he was carrying went off accidentally, according to San Antonio police.

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Israeli minister says it may be ‘moral’ to starve 2 million Gazans, but ‘no one in the world would let us’ (edition.cnn.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/18358694

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Israeli Finance Minister Complains They Can't Starve 2 Million Civilians To Death (www.timesofisrael.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://midwest.social/post/15368924

A direct quote from the finance minister of Israel today: "Nobody will let us cause 2 million civilians to die of hunger, even though it might be justified and moral, until our hostages are returned."

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JD Vance falsely accuses Algerian Olympic boxer of being transgender & weirdly blames Kamala Harris (www.advocate.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/18340810

In a contentious and misleading post on social media, JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, launched an attack on Vice President Kamala Harris’s support for LGBTQ+ inclusivity. Vance falsely accused Algerian Olympic boxer Imane Khelif of being transgender, causing widespread condemnation and backlash from human rights advocates.

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