So peaceful. I need at least three screaming voices to avoid the Internal Carnival Music πͺ
this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Before i was got on meds, i constantly had music playing in my head along with all the other thoughts that were trying to be heard.
Okay get this - when I finally got on meds for the nth (and hopefully last) time, the voices in my head immediately changed from an incoherent chorus of self-hatred to "why is this song playing in my head?" and "It's kind of a bop, though."
The relief was incredible, if also a little weird.
Lol ive had that kind of experience as well. I got lucky and first med i tried was really effective. I'm now able to just stop thinking for a while. All the voices are quiet and no music plays.
I just got diagnosed last year and ive had ADHD all my life without knowing it so super weird to just have a quiet head. I get what you mean, its such a drastic change, but a good one.
I always say that my brain is a jukebox that never, EVER turns off. There is always music and it never stops.
I will be watching a three hour video essay, get distracted, read posts on Lemmy, then go back to my video 15 minutes later. I realize I have no idea what was said in the last 15 minutes so I have to back up to the last point I definitely know I wasn't distracted. It will take me ten hours to watch that video.
This is why I don't do podcasts in the background, I miss stuff and the whole thing becomes a confusing distraction.
What seems to work for me is something I have seen/heard a bunch of times in the background (Futurama, electronic music) which scratches that mind wandering itch without it dragging me away from what I want to be doing.
I have two types of podcasts: those I listen to when doing work that is pretty mindless so I can focus on the podcast, and those that are entertaining but not important enough that it matters if I miss something while reading directions or thinking through next steps on my project, etc.
Come to think of it, I have one other category, actually, which are podcasts that are interesting but get a big backlog because I'm not that excited about them. I use those to fall asleep.
For me itβs similar, but podcasts for housework and cleaning, music for working, silence for drawing/problem solving.
I have a big fan in my room and when I get on calls with friends, they ask if I'm in the factory. Apparently the fan sounds like heavy machinery in the distance. Got a new AC and it only adds to the factory ambience lol. My friends aren't bothered by it, thankfully
Oh my, no. This is like a list of the worst things for me.
I can't concentrate on something if they're are voices in the background, my brain forces me to focus on the voices, I can't tune them out to focus on my main task.
So when I'm working, music helps me focus a little, but it MUST not have vocals. No-Vocals Vaporwave/Synthwave is my jam.
I could never watch two films at the same time, or have a podcast on while I'm trying to watch a film, etc, I hate distractions and background noises while I'm trying to focus on a film.
If I tried to watch two films at once... my brain would just be overwhelmed and I'd be able to watch neither.
I also hate noise in general and cherish blissful silence, so while I do run a fan when it gets very hot, I do my best to avoid it.
Quiet silence is best, the more things like noise assault my senses the more I feel oppressed in my own brain.
That might be autism. Or you have both.
Haha yes it's a strong possibility that I have both, going off what I've learned these past few years of research and community involvement!
It's going to be a looong time before I can get checked for autism though as I'm poor, so for now I just have to wait and wonder :-)
Take the raads-r test. It's so close to a psychiatrist evaluation that it has a high confidence even for a self test. https://embrace-autism.com/raads-r/
Just knowing you are autistic and learning about it can improve your life
This. I got the "physically unable to multitask" ADHD instead of the "needs multiple sources of stimulation" ADHD.
I find loud, fast/rhythmic music works best for me. Anything with a d-beat is generally solid, so metal (osdm, trad/speed, thrash, black) and punk (hardcore, crust) make up a chunk of my focus music, definitely not in the multiple sources category either, more of the "drown out everything else so I can only think of one thing" sort.
I need exactly the right amount of stimulation or nothing is getting done. It is extremely variable.
The fan thing really hit me. Ceiling fan, 7 years, only stopped it to dust.....when the power goes out
I'm sorry about the fan hitting you, you really have to make sure those things are mounted properly.