A tennis ball.
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
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Asklemmy
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A dakimakura, AKA a body pillow. Needs an anime character on it, obviously.
Of coure the large breasted, scarcely dressed waifu of questionable age shall still be referred to as "Wilson"
Magic 8-Ball
This time Wilson can kinda sorta actually talk back.
The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.
He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.
And instead of Wilson, it can be called Doc, or Dr Johnson. (Having a name like bad dragon seems a stretch, maybe baddra?)
For the entire duration, he can't work out what it actually is because it's such a weird shape and so ridiculously huge that it being a dildo never even crosses his mind
Wouldn't the object need to be something of deep importance to the individual or be a poetic representation? I always assumed the volleyball was a symbol of everything he left behind. Things like recreation no longer mattered; only survival. :shrug: but I also thought the movie sounded incredibly boring. If you want a random item, go for qualities like "awkward to carry" or "gets hot when left in the sun". Give your characters personality or force them to choose that object at a moment it's inconvenient.
- An oversized diamond/ faberge egg - it's valuable, heavy or fragile and inconvenient, in a critical moment your character may need to smash it against something risking damage
- Teddy Roxbury/furby - favorite toy growing up? Creepy voice at stalking moments? Mid point twist when the batteries die?
- Harmonica - potentially a little Disney princess forest friend vibes
- Bowling ball - Wilson prolly plays a little different when it's not feasible to take him on a raft, prevents you from climbing trees and burns precious calories transporting. Mobility is now a plot point. Decent weapon tho
- Toilet plunger/brush - everyday object that can be utilized differently, maybe adds that little bit extra reach to save the day?
Oh wow look at what the tides have swept ashore. A Pringles can, some rubber gloves and a few sponges.
An MRE. When supplies dwindle, our protagonist is faced with a tragic choice.
couch cushion
This is inexplicably the best answer yet. Everyone else is working so hard to think outside the box that the box is inside-out.
Plus, now you can include a love scene.
I have absolutely zero interest in making this movie political.
Then Iโd go with airplane seat cushion instead.
The couch cushion works fine. Couch cushions appear in real-life situations all the time and simply having one in the movie cannot be construed as making a statement on the kind of conduct that we as a nation are willing to accept from our vice-presidential candidates.
Can I just suggest that to mix things up a bit, this one should be set on a peninsula.
Ooh, I've thought of one: a helium balloon. Imagine the tension as he occasionally forgets to hold the string!
A 1ft tungston cube
The same volleyball, but he's imagining it and he's the only one who can see it.
The corpse of Harry Potter that's slowly coming back to life
Oh wait, that movie exists already
The severed head of a man named Wilson.
Oooh, the dead body of Owen Wilson.
A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it's plastic, but has already grown attached to it.
A walkie talkie that he can't find any batteries for.
Oh look, a chainsaw. Now I just have to find gas...
a super valuable in-the-original packaging giant boba fett action figure, he's tormented by keeping it mint in case he ever gets back, somehow the rocket launcher ends up saving his life.
A fleshlight.
Plank
A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don't, may their innocence last forever.
Grandma "So that's what a coconut is used for."
"I've been doing it wrong all these years"
Grandma is doing a goatse.
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Thanks I needed that
You're welcome, kind Internet Stranger.
A dildo.
Coconut would be believably available on the island, and you could have a whole arc when he runs out of water and fights over killing his friend to drink the juice, like a schizophrenic episode
Plus the sexual tension.
A bowling ball. Can change some of the script so he catches it before it rolls off the raft but he falls in the water with it. He's too heavy and weak to make it back to the raft so he has to let go and watch it immediately sink or he's taken under too (also a good reference how it's hard to save someone from drowning when you're near drowning yourself). Definitely thought of a dildo first till I saw everyone else put it up though.
A furby or tickle me Elmo.
Do your work for you, you say?
Or is this a hobby project?
Do your work for you, you say?
That reminds me, tomorrow I will need everyone here to proofread the latest revision of my screenplay for the "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" horror movie.
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Alongside anti work, maybe there's room for a shittyGPT community for people asking us to do their work for them? (sorta like that Photoshop guy that always looks for the malicious compliance angle)
Haha yeah. Love that guy btw.