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My wife, to this day, shuts off the shower and then immediately steps out while water is still running off her soaking wet body, inevitably creating a puddle in the bathroom.

"Honey, why don't you drip for like five seconds, or even grab the towel and give yourself a quick dab before you get out?"

The first time I told her this she just stared at me for a solid 20s while her brain rebooted. But then her "never admit anything ever under any circumstances" instinct kicked in and she responded "wow are you really policing my shower habits?"

So anyway, now she knows better, but still does it because marriage is about compromise, or something.

When I was about 8 years old my aunt told me she returned a belt to the store because the buckle wouldn't fit through the belt loops in her pants. I'll never forget the look on her face when I told her to put it through the other end first.

My wife started a new job a few years ago, and during training she was shown how to create invoices.

1. Open the excel template
2. Fill inn the items, and the prices
3. Sum all posts USING THE DESKTOP CALCULATOR ...

She was completely dumbfounded.

A friend of mine told me a story once about an intern that was tasked with writing a text. She delivered one page of text and was told to write more. She asked how. She didn't know that you could write more than one page in Word.

I was about 25 years old before I realized I could use warm water to wash my hands in the winter. I'm usually considered a very intelligent individual, but for some reason this never occurred to me. Maybe it's because I grew up poor and we tried to use as little hot water as possible, or maybe I'm just not as smart as people think I am.

An acquaintance was always complaining about how cold the water was when washing dishes. He had never thought to turn on the hot water.

He and his wife were conservative talk show hosts in Indiana, specializing in talking about how stupid liberals are.

My previous place heated up very slowly, so I started saving the cold water in a bucket to water my plants because it felt like a waste

There’s a german insult about people who take warm showers

reaching into the oven and screaming as he pulls out the cooking tray