I’ll be honest, I really want to meet a nice woman at some point.
This Lemmy discussion is valid.
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I’ll be honest, I really want to meet a nice woman at some point.
This Lemmy discussion is valid.
How is the act of romantically approaching men out by women coming along statistically?
I can't speak to how common this is, or if overall rates have declined, but I still do it. There are a lot of people in the comments who are worried about coming off as a creep, and I'm sure a lot of guys do come off that way, but I don't think it's that hard to hit on someone in a non-creepy way. I asked a woman out last week like so-
Me: "Hey, sorry if this is abrupt but would you like to have lunch or a coffee sometime?"
Her: "Yeah! That sounds like fun"
Me: "Cool, let me give you my number..."
Me (after chatting a bit): "Sorry for hitting on you out of the blue."
Her: "It's totally fine!"
Things to note:
We had talked briefly a few times prior to my approaching her.
So it wasn't completely out of the blue. I feel like this part is pretty critical. You had established yourself in a positive way before making the ask. If your first-ever interaction with her had been asking her out on a date, I doubt it would have gone as well.
Agreed. The difference between reading 95% and 100% of that comment is massive.
Fair. She works in a place that I've been a few times and I have said hello once or twice.
How to be a millionaire.
how to talk to women.
Tl;dr women are humans, talk to them as humans, and maybe they'll be up for making another human with you.
This comparison is ridiculous as they are completely different. This isn't about talking to other humans, it's about trying to establish a romantic relationship. It isn't a tautology that to date someone you had to speak to them.
Having spoken to someone a little bit before asking them out for a date is very standard behaviour in every environment outside of locations where people are there specifically to find a romantic relationship (be that just sex, or more), like a bar, tinder, speed dating, etc.
It's like, don't just approach a woman in the office that you've never spoken to, and ask her out. It's very unlikely (but granted, not impossible) that she wants to go from total strangers, to starting a relationship with romantic intentions, with someone she also has never spoken to.
But, if you're making a coffee and she's there too, be friendly and talk to her. Ask socially normal and typical questions like if she had a good weekend, and if so what did she get up to. If she's receptive, keep talking to her. Once this has happened a few times, and she's engaging with you - rather than just being polite and trying to get away ASAP - then ask her out. This doesn't have to take a long time, it could be as quick as a couple of days, if you're getting good responses from her.
I would say I’ve never approached a woman romantically not quite out of fear of being viewed as a creep, but out of fear of creeping her out. I’m paranoid about putting people in uncomfortable situations, because I hate when it’s done to me
#metoo won, and I hope the species dies for it.
I think this trend predates that by a longshot
You've got a generation of young men who look at a woman, and they think "If I approach her, she WILL react badly, I just don't know HOW badly. There's a strong chance she'll assassinate my character online. Pussy just doesn't sound fun enough to try this."
The metoo thing is about coming forward about rape. Conversely, what you're describing is cyberbullying. I realise the former can be used as the latter by assholes, but publically lambasting someone's reputation is not a new thing.
If you think getting dragged on school twitter is bad, try having a dirty rumour started about you in a small town.
That's a fuckton of assumptions. Terrible assumptions, I might add.